Random Notes in Passing

In my continuing saga of computer complications, I was clicking along taking notes in Constitutional Law yesterday and my portable notebook mouse pooped out on me - just plum stopped working! I couldn’t believe it. So I trooped over to good old Best Buy on the way home last night and procured a new one that is so embarrassingly cool I’m really rather enthralled with the stupid thing. It’s silver to match my notebook and has a clear plastic roller and half-moon of clear plastic illuminated by a light inside that, when the mouse is attached to the USB port, eases continuously through seven neon colors. How cool, huh? Further proof that I am a hopeless computer geek.

I am a walking dead girl. I can’t wait to go home on Friday and sleep! Thankfully, the cold panic of exams is coursing through my veins, keeping me awake and (more or less) alert.

What’s this sixty-degree-weather hogswallop? What happened to 80 with a beating sun? Anything under 70 is worthless as far as I’m concerned.

I have house guest - some sort of bird has taken residence under the canopy of my stairwell. This morning I walked down the stairs and almost crunched a shell from a suicidal egg that had obviously decided it could no longer endure the trials and tribulations of hatching and rolled out of the nest onto my bottom step. Spring has sprung.

El Grande Scandal among the 1Ls this week is a kid who thinks he’s the rough equivalent of Napoleon. In our Criminal Procedure class yesterday, three people who were called on hadn’t prepared for class (gee, I wonder why - we’re all so preoccupied with studying and outlining and preparing for EXAMS that a thirty-page reading on material that won’t be covered and is assigned exclusively for the purpose of self-enrichment really occupies a low prong on the priority latter). The prof was a touch agitated but didn’t give us a massive lecture or anything. But later that evening, one kid in our section sent out an e-mail telling us not to come to class if we’re not going to prepare - like it’s his place to keep us from the education we’re all paying to receive! So began a flurry of indignant e-mails and mutinous behavior so vehement the kid didn’t even show up for class the ensuing day, likely for fear of his life. What a knob.

T-minus 29 hours!

28 United States Code, Section 1332

How law School erodes your coolness:

1. All week, our Con Law class has been all of a thither at the prospect of discussing United States v. Nixon, and the concept of Executive Privilege, which we covered in class today.

2. We entertained a lively debate about whether a Special Prosecutor qualifies as a member of the executive branch subject to the whims of the President.

3. Before class today, we all took a personality quiz: Which Federal Rule of Civil Procedure Are you?

YOU ARE 28 UNITED STATES CODE SECTION 1332!
You are not a Federal Rule of Civil Procedure at all: you're the statute that allows the federal district courts to hear diversity of citizenship actions! You were drafted with the idea that an out-of-state party may be unduly prejudiced by appearing in a foreign state. Sometimes people may think that you're strange, and they try to minimalize your effects by requiring an amount in controversy and by being especially strict on the requirements for diversity. Also, attorneys often use you for “forum shopping” and other undesirable behavior. But there's no getting around the fact that you're so darned loveable! Your delightful quirkiness entertains friends and law professors alike, and although others may grumble about your eccentricities behind your back, they're always talking about you, so you must be doing something right. Let's face it, the world could use a few more 28 USC 1332's!

When it Rains...

Boy… when it rains, it pours. I was sitting in the auditorium this morning and had just cracked my computer. I uncapped my bottle of water to take a drink, and just as I was returning it to the desk, some moron slides behind me and clips the back of my chair with remarkable force via his monster backpack (which must have contained bricks), causing my bottle of water to falter and slosh over the lower right portion of my keyboard. Chaos ensued, involving me frantically attempting to siphon all the water out with Kleenex and shaking like a leaf. Obviously I couldn’t go to class without a computer, so I drove home to my apartment, stopping on the way at the only open Office Supply store (Staples) to see if they sold keyboards that could plug into USB ports (of course not, that would be too easy). So while I was surfing online to check the inventory of the local Circuit City and Best Buy for the same, I attempted to dry the keyboard with a hair dryer. Well, the chintzy, flimsy little plastic keys on the keyboard shriveled up like prunes. Six letters literally dried up like raisins and popped off within seconds. I just can’t believe it. Luckily I have all my important files backed up on two flash drives so I won’t lose anything, but jeez. I could just shoot myself. I’m going to stand outside Best Buy at 9:50 and zoom in right at 10 to assault the resident geeks. Argh!

I Despise Oral Arguments

I could just kick myself. That beautiful Ann Taylor suit I purchased, with the nice skirt and blue shirt and jacket that Mom funded, which would be perfect to wear for tonight’s Oral Argument, is suspended neatly in my closet... five hours away, at home. I thought I might wind up wearing it for Easter, so it made the trek home, never to return. Argh!

It’s 5:30 and I have an hour until my Appellate Brief presentation. On the one hand, I’m so nervous I could throw up. On the other, I’m sure the “judges” (local lawyers) have many, many things more important on their mind than our pansy little 1L presentations, so maybe they won’t be too harsh in their criticisms...? I hope. Maybe one of them will fall asleep and I’ll be able to present to a trio of eyelids... that’d be nice. Probably too much to hope for, though. I don’t know what I’m so nervous for... I can’t imagine anyone would do so poorly as to be prevented from passing on the basis of one horrible evening. However, it is possible, and I’m sure I would be totally capable of pulling it off! This is 25% of our grade, incidentally.

It warmed nicely to about 70 today with a humid underpinning and a thick breeze that combined to supply a very nice afternoon. It made me long to zip home and indulge in a long rollerblade.

T-minus... well. not many days until exams. I’m worried! But I suppose everyone is, right?

Looking Ahead

Well, I survived (arguably) my appellate brief presentation. I suppose it wasn’t a complete fiasco but it definitely qualified as “severely impeded in the general execution.” Basically I was nervous and jittery while performing from my prepared script, but all three judges said I absolutely nailed all the questions they threw at me, and one even noted that I brought up a response that he hadn’t heard from any other student that made him examine the issue in a different way. So... you win some, you lose some, I suppose.

I also managed to weasel my way into all the courses I wanted... kind of. They made a few last-minute adjustments to the times that left me with a major time conflict. As a result, I won’t be taking Patent Law as previously planned, but I suppose that’s good because I will have the opportunity to take an entire semester of Intro to Intellectual Property, thus enabling me to form an educated decision on whether I actually wish to pursue that specialization. I don’t want to box myself into something prematurely, as I did in undergrad.

So, here’s the lineup. I played it safe and signed up for five courses, so I’ll be able to select which to drop at my leisure after intense deliberation:

- Introduction to Intellectual Property: a thorough introduction and survey of intellectual property law regimes in the United States. The course will focus on the major statutory and common law schemes for protecting intellectual property, including patent, trademark, copyright and trade secret law. Although these protection schemes will be discussed sequentially, the course will highlight the common structure, principles and rationales that apply across these fields.

- Civil Procedure II: This course covers basic material regarding jurisdiction and conflict of laws and provides necessary background for many advanced litigation courses. Subjects covered include personal jurisdiction, subject matter jurisdiction, removal, supplemental jurisdiction, Erie doctrine, and federal common law. Introductory conflict of laws issues, such as the problem of what law to apply when a case contains out-of-state elements or has some connection with another jurisdiction, will also be covered.

- Income Taxation: This course provides a survey of the federal income tax. The materials focus upon the following problem areas: (a) the constitutional, statutory, and judicial standards for determining gross income; (b) determination of allowable deductions for both business and nonbusiness expenses; (c) methods of accounting for income and deductions; (d) determination of gain or loss upon the sale or other disposition of property and the classification thereof as ordinary income or loss, or capital gain or loss; and (e) the identification of the taxable person in situations where attempts are made to split or shift the burden of the income tax within family groups.

- Business Associations I: the foundational course in the corporate series. Topics include a general introduction; creation of agency and partnership; formation of the corporation, including limited liability and veil piercing; introduction to partnership governance and dissolution; close corporation governance and dissolution; introduction to LLCs and other business entities; governance of the publicly held corporation, including proxy regulation; authority of corporate managers and partners; and fiduciary duties of managers.

- Evidence: Evidence is a prerequisite for several courses, and therefore generally should be elected in the second year. This course examines the principles that regulate the process of proving facts at trial. The course begins with an examination of relevancy, and with the limitations upon the receipt of relevant evidence, which are imposed for purely practical reasons or for reasons of extrinsic policy. The limitations include, for example, rules about the admissibility of character evidence and rape shield laws. The course then examines in great detail the Hearsay Doctrine, with consideration of its constitutional underpinnings in criminal cases. Also considered at some length are the more important exceptions to the Doctrine, which permit receipt of hearsay evidence that is considered for one reason or another to be reliable or essential. The course also examines the competency of witness and the process of testing witness credibility, taking up cross-examination and the detailed and complex rules that permit and also restrict impeachment. The course typically also considers certain aspects of the adversary process that allocate the burdens of production and persuasion or obviate the need for proof. These include judicial notice, presumptions, and the conventions and Constitutional doctrines that allocate burdens of persuasion in criminal cases. Finally, the course considers the presentation of expert testimony and scientific evidence, authentication of documents and other physical evidence, and the Best Evidence Doctrine. Some sections of the course also take up briefly the subject of privileges, especially the ones governing the attorney-client and spousal relationships. Some sections include a brief study of the constitutional privilege against self-incrimination as well.

So... we’ll see. All the guide books say the first semester as a 2L is absolutely jam-packed because you spend most of your time trying to procure a position for the upcoming summer, which usually turns into the job you maintain after graduation; thus, you’re supposed to take general courses for which a plethora of study guides exist, enabling you to miss classes on occasion to visit firms and such. Just thinking about the whole process makes me sick to my stomach, although lately it doesn’t take much.

In other local news, spring has officially sprung. The emerald-hued glass is now completely saturated with proud little yellow pufts of dandelions, and all the cherry (or apple, or whatever) trees have popped to life in massive, bright clouds of brilliant cotton-candy pink and rich magenta. At 1:30 it’s already 79 and last night we didn’t reach peak temperature until 5:30...

Sandtraps

Well, I’m as nervous as an enchanted cob of corn waddling past a pack of people making popcorn over a campfire. Strange simile, but that’s the effect of sleep deprivation. I have to give a ten minute oral presentation of my Appellate Brief on Wednesday morning, and then next week (Monday evening) I have to give it again, this time in front of a patch of fascimilie judges consisting of Champaign-area lawyers, who will have liberty to question, drill interrogate and otherwise scare the poop out of us during our presentation. Wahoo.

On Friday, driving home, I listened to a two-hour biography of Elizabeth Taylor on Sirius. Holy cow, I’ve never heard of anyone flittering from marriage to marriage as she did! Although, as the narrator pointed out, she always married the men she canoodled with rather than just traipsing around. And I never realized she struggled with so many illnesses - in fact, she almost died of pneumonia. I was kind of hoping they would mention my favorite actor, James Dean, while discussing her participation in the film Giant, but he was just a passing comment in a sea of Taylor critiques. One interesting thing - she started the whole movie-stars-receiving-insane-amounts-of-money trend with Cleopatra. She didn’t want to do the film, so she told her agent, Ask for a million and I won’t have to do the film because there’s no way they’ll pay that. Well, they did, and so began the progression of insane paydays.

I have to register for next year’s classes on Wednesday morning. At the moment, I’m looking at Introduction to Intellectual Property, Patents, Evidence, and Business Administration, although I might trade in Patents for something more general until after I take the intro/IP course to make sure I enjoy it before delving headlong into an unknown specialty. I don’t want to fall into the same trap that snared me in undergrad, glopping all my efforts into a major I subsequently came to detest.

Gilmore Girls tonight, yay! I wonder whether the Koreans will be home. I haven’t smelled them roasting anything lately and I’m beginning to worry, particularly as there’s only one car outside.

“I hope you realize my response to your answers has nothing to do with my opinion of you. You all should know that I don’t like any of you, and your answers have nothing to do with it.” -Prof. Yankah

"Wolf!"

Well, today was false alarm round #2 - we had another fire alarm, this time in Constitutional Law, which is inarguably my most difficult course and the one least amenable to time infringements. Where’s the justice? At least it’s 70 degrees outside and sunny, so we all lulled in the parking lot squinting and chatting instead of freezing on the wet pavement, shivering and grumbling. But I think the powers that be need to pull out a copy of The Boy Who Cried Who Cried Wolf and apply the principles to our current situation.

I feel like a walking zombie, having not slept for two consecutive nights. But, just two more nights, and then I get my slumber buddy back! I love the puppy...

I was so psyched last night for a brand new episode of the Gilmore Girls... then I got home and sat down to work on my Civil Procedure class outline and worked right through the show. I didn’t even notice the time until there were only ten minutes left, by which time I had absolutely no clue what was going on. that’s the realm of “pathetic” my existence has entered: I was so wrapped up in distinguishing between in rem and quasi in rem jurisdiction of courts that I forgot about the outside world. That’s just scary. I hope my mind doesn’t shrivel up in protest of a steady diet of legal principles, which seems an entirely viable possibility.

Although I’m looking forward to decorating eggs this weekend, I wish Easter fell in a differnt month. I just don’t have the time to spare. I’m going to feel guilty the entire time for not spending the hours working on my outlines or running notecards.

I received my registration time for the fall semester - April 12. Not that I have the slightest idea what to take. It seems like a total crapshoot - just pick your interests and go for it. The top contenders seem to be Business Administration, Income Tax, Evidence, Patent Law or Wills and Trusts, but I’m sure enrollment caps and time constraints will pare down my availiable selections considerably.

Finito!

Well, I finished my Appellate Brief. The thick bundle of pages (four copies, per instruction) are settled neatly in my backpack, sandwiched between the mandatory yellow stock cover and back papers and stapled down the side (although the size almost gave my inanimate stapler a heart attack). There’s only about half the class in Civil Procedure this morning (so much for responsible law students planning ahead.)

For Writing, I have to attend a Moot Court hearing tonight, which is basically upper-year law students arguing in front of a pretend judge (Zzzzz...). Then tomorrow we have two make-up classes in the evening. Things are starting to pile up... ugh.

A Succession of Not-So-Ordinary Days

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said, “A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days.” I wish to contest this assertion.

First, I stopped on the way home from the library to scour Target for a low-tech landline phone that doesn’t require electricity. I managed to locate one measly model in the phone aisle and started heading toward the register with it tucked beneath my arm, eyeing the latest DVD releases as I passed. I lingered at the bottled water aisle, considering, and then picked up three big jugs of Ice Mountain, just in case. Balancing the four items, I recommenced my trek, only to notice a sea of people, helmed by a pack of red-clad, walkie-talkie toting Target employees, marching right at me. “We’re going to the back of the store!” one of them hollered. “There’s a tornado warning! We can’t force you to stay, but we’d recommend it, and we’re not checking out!” (I liked the little caveat she inserted to protect the store against litigation for false imprisonment.) I dropped all my items and called Mom, just in case all the phone lines decided to spontaneously decombust and inhibit further contact. As I started following the herd, another announcement came over the speakers informing customers that they couldn’t roam free in the store - the two appropriate locations were (1) at the back of the store, the most structurally-sound portion of the building, or (2) the exit. Instead of following blindly I cut through an aisle to scoop up an armful of magazines and rushed over to the appointed area just as the electricity cut out. A general chorus of “oohs” akin to the cries of surprise that stink bombs prompt rose around me and little spotlights appeared at staggered intervals (the employees had rounded up flashlights prior to the cutout). After a moment or two the generator kicked in (greeted by a vocal tide of relief) only to cut out again, and repeat the pattern twice.

For about forty minutes we all milled about, listening to the angry bleating of heavy rain and sirens in the distance. It’s amazing how a little natural disaster renders all of us to scuttling ants yoked to a small black box pressed to our ears. One guy kept checking weather.com via his Blackberry to watch the radar. Eventually the manager came out to tell us the warning had lifted and we could scatter safely. The guy next to me smiled and speed-dialed his two sons to tell them they could exit the bathroom. I replaced the magazines, relocated my abandoned items and trudged out to contend with the billowing wind.

I rushed across the street and hurried in to check on Fuzz, who was fine but had been flying through the air, panic-stricken with claws extended, in my mind for the duration of my Target stay. The rain ceased about an hour later, but when I woke this morning it had reappeared, and we must have lost power because my coffee pot was flashing midnight. The best part is, we’re supposed to have a repeat performance on Thursday. Rah, rah, rah.

Then this morning in Civil Procedure around 9:55 we had just started a fresh case when BRAMMMM, the single loudest fire alarm I’ve ever endured started whirring through the air, accompanied by an obnoxious flashing strobe light. For a moment we all looked at each other like stupid idiots and then turned to the Professor, who sagged his shoulders in resigned irritation and threw two thumbs over his shoulders, signaling us to leave. I quickly unplugged my laptop and shoved it in my bag, slipping on my jacket before following the crowd outside. After about two minutes lulling miserably in the gloomy sprinkle of a foggy, windy Monday morning, a fire truck pulled up with sirens ablaze and scuttled into the building. After about five minutes they let us back in, where we all scooped up our belongings and split before the Professor could trap up for the last three minutes of class (and believe me, he would have).

So it seems, at least for a while, my succession of days won’t be quite so ordinary.