Impossible Requests and Other Red Herrings

“You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest. With... a herring!”
- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

When Ali and I were at EPCOT, I bought the official Disney World Resort album. It has all the ride music from all the greats - Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, the Haunted Manison, the Tower of Terror, France, Oh Canada, and my brand-new favorite ride, Soarin’. Some contend that the worst part about exams is the hour or so before you take the thing. I disagree - the worse time is 2am the night before when you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night wondering if you adequately parsed through the language of 15 USC § 1052 so that in twelve hours or so you would be able to adequately regurgitate the general principles qualifying a potential trademark for registration in your Trademarks and Unfair Competition course. In some ways I am most nervous about this exam because, although it was my favorite course, it was also taught by my favorite professor at the law school, so I don’t want to turn in an essay that makes me look like a moron. I’ll never forget the first time I was in his class (Property, first semester as a 1L - forever and a half ago) and he referenced a “John Cleese-like character” prowling about in the bushes. And then, later in the semester, he quoted from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, when the prince’s father motions out the window and says, “Son, soon this will all be yours!” and the son replies, “What, the curtains?” He’s the greatest. Watch him fail me and prevent me from graduating after I’ve spent all this time singing his praises.

It’s an hour to the Trademarks exam. I’m listening to the soundtrack from Soarin’ on a repeat loop to keep myself calm. I got to the exam room two hours early to get my favorite chair, only to have them relocate us to a different room because some wuss complained the Auditorium (my favorite place to take exams) was “too cold.” Boo-hoo. Now someone beat me in the foot-race to the new room and I lost my favorite spot. I hope this is not indicative of things to come.