The Day, Part II

Curly: I’m studying to be supervisor.
Jim Craig: Studying to be stupid.
- The Man from Snowy River

Just another day, I guess. Even though it has nothing to do with me, I wish the autopsy reports had come back with some conclusive, definitive answer about what killed Ledger. We’re going to have to wait two weeks, if indeed the family even decides to share the results with the public. I now understand peoples’ unflagging allegiance to stupid happenings in the news. I always roll my eyes at people who enthusiastically follow news proceedings regarding a particular current event, but this one actually fascinates me. Perhaps it’s just convenient for my unconscious mind to dwell on death the week of my birthday.

I’m in Complex Litigation, which I have rapidly come to loathe, and the bloke sitting behind me is driving me even nuttier than I already am. I am rapidly progressing from a Peanut to an Almond and if he keeps crinkling granola bar wrappers and dumping some sort of fluid between two containers while periodically emitting irritating exclamations of “aaah,” I’m going to snap. What really raises my ire is that the professor prohibited us from occupying the last three rows of the classroom, so I’m in the last permitted row on the end; however, this blowhole waltzed in late and, totally disregarding the fact that no one else was sitting in the final three rows, plunked down right behind me. If he does not stop sighing and yawning and shaking his powdered drink I will sacrifice my portable microphone recorder to lodge it in his aorta and give him something to sigh about. Dude, shut up.

I wish I were driving home tonight, as I did last semester. This 10:30-noon class on Fridays is going to be the death of me. How annoying. And I can’t even ditch it with any semblance of regularity because three absences equates a failing grade... just what I need.

Last night I woke up about three times soaking in sweat. I don’t know why. My apartment certainly isn’t hot... I take pains to ensure precisely the opposite. Maybe it’s just my body expressing disgust that I’m so fat. I can’t believe I let myself fall apart to this extent. Now I’m 25 and totally miserable as opposed to living it up or whatever I’m supposed to be doing at this age. There was a movie starring Matt Damon and Danny DeVito based on a John Grisham novel called The Rainmaker which (according to the brief preview) centered around the happenings of an enthusiastic young lawyer. I started watching it and was so bored I actually opted for the Weather Channel. Isn’t that rather alarming, considering I’m a law student? Shouldn’t I find these types of things immensely interesting? Running with the theory that my mind is desperately seeking escapism, I rented Stardust starring Robert DeNiro and Claire Danes, and it was wonderful. I don’t really understand why it bombed at the box office; must have been a marketing fluke. Or the market is just oversaturated with fantasy flics at the moment. I guess people just didn’t really understand what it was all about - I certainly didn’t.

I’m back to rambling. Reviewing my posing habits, I had a tendency to post religiously first year and the first half of second year, then drifted off and submitted nary a word last semester. I regret that now; one day, if I make it past thirty (which I seriously doubt), I will seek to review my law school experiences, or at least revisit the mindset entertained during those years. Who am I, as a younger person, to deny my future self such endeavors? Okay, this guy behind me is going down. I’m thinking a straw up his nose might be just the thing. How many wrappers can he possibly have to unfurl? Isn’t there an unwritten prohibition against coming in late and annoying the stuffing out of everyone around you?

The guy next to me is using a Macbook. On the one hand I’m totally jealous, because it looks beautiful and I love Macs, and on the other I am grateful for his contribution to my Apple stock’s value.

Everyone’s laughing now at one of the most pathetic jokes I’ve ever heard. Lawyers, or perhaps law students, are just a bunch of stuffy, uninteresting, uncreative, habitual, excessively punctual, pompous, self-righteous, conceited and uninspiring lumps with eyes. And now I have become one of them. Joy. None of us are in shape or particularly attractive. We’ve all morphed into these indecipherable gray blobs. I am desperately attemping to recall the last time I found something a classmate said in class even remotely interesting and am failing fantastically.

It’s only 10:00; fifteen minutes until the expiration of this particular torture, and then I can rush to the restroom before the initiation of Round 2. I can’t even save my seat while I do so by leaving my coat behind because I’m so fat I can’t take my coat off. Hopefully I will make it back in time to duke it out for a decent spot in PR. I have to use the restroom so badly, though. I could get up and go now but then everyone would look at me as I left and returned and I just cannot deal with it, between my stringy hair and puffy cheeks and butt that needs its own zip code. I am so tired my eyes keep drifting shut. I did my four shots of espresso again this morning, but it doesn’t seem sufficient this time. My head keeps jolting about.

10:05; ten minutes. Zzzz . . .

(Later)

Wow, the only way I can think to describe this professor is to parallel her alongside Professor Umbridge from Harry Potter. She bears a remarkable resemblance visually to the representation in the fifth movie, and in terms of personality/practice to the conveyance so eloquently articulated in the novels. Too bad we don’t have Hermione and Firenze’s ilk around...

I woke up this morning at 6:15 and couldn’t fall back to sleep, after waking about four times in a complete sweat. Did I mention that earlier? I believe so... it just bothers me, because it has never happened before that I can recall. I don’t feel like I have a fever and it wasn’t particularly warm, but I was bundled under about forty-three blankets in addition to my comforter and fleece jacket, so maybe I just overdid it. I’m just desperate not to fall ill, and there’s such a proud, continual draft from the window in my bedroom that I had to do something to fend it off.

It kind of sucks that I’m going to go all day without one person acknowledging my birthday in person, but that is entirely my fault. I could have come here and made a bunch of friends and a nice home away from home but I chose to live with my head in one state and my body in another. Maybe I’ll go see 27 Dresses tonight as a miniature birthday party. As I read that, it sounds really pathetic. what a loser.

We’re under a windchill advisory here, and it’s so cold the parking meters would not even accept coins this morning. I don’t blame them. I’d like to shut down, too.

Your Birthdate: January 24

- For you, love is a natural progression from friendship. You are almost always friends first. - In love, you are loyal, steady, and honest. You are not a cheater or even much of a flirt. - You are likely to stay friends with your ex... and open to rekindling something in the future. - Number of True Loves You'll Have: 4 - Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 1 - You are most compatible with people born on the 6th, 15th, and 24th of the month.