Scouting About for Gems

Well, I survived my first Socratic examination in Tax. Of course the professor called on me the first day, and then continued the drilling today. It’s a big class, so I have the rest of the alphabet to relax – he didn’t even clear the B’s today. Phew. We’re talking about taxable income, generally... accession to wealth and elimination of liability as such, etc. He says in the syllabus that he “read[s] e-mail virtually every moment [he’s] awake,” which is absolutely fabulous. I love when professors are computer savvy!

On a slightly unrelated topic, I find it absolutely hilarious that Al Capone became perhaps the most famous denizen of Alcatraz not as a result of the myriad murders he ordered, but for tax evasion. He was finally corralled by Elliot Ness, a special agent for the IRS. Of all the things he did, taxes turned out to be his Achilles’ Heel.

I have one last beginning course today – Business Associations. The professor has the most... uhh... interesting voice I’ve ever heard emanate from a professor. She’s very young, although she claims to have children, and could probably secure a position providing sound effects for Chip and Dale in their animated cartoons. Someone in the close vicinity is wearing absolutely horrid perfume.

She used an example in class of someone running a lemonade stand which, to give you a rough idea of how my mind works, brought a flurry of memories about playing an entrepreneurial computer game as a middle-schooler. My big, clunky old Apple could barely chug fast enough to register the crass, large pixelations that passed for graphics way back in the day of PacMan and Donkey Kong. But I got to build rides and sell lemonade (with massive amounts of ice, to maximize revenue). I also loved “Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?” which enabled me to virtually examine crime scenes and collect clues in my quest to determine which country harbored the fugitive. That’s how I spent my idle hours when I wasn’t knee-deep in horse manure, as opposed to staring at the TV. Good times. And then there were the days I’d go to the bookstore or the library and come home toting hours’ worth of entertainment – that was really fun. I used to spend hours perusing the fiction section. There’s a fine art to finding a book to escape in – first you read the summary to make sure it sounds interesting, then read the first page to experience a snippet, and if the book passes those two filters (which the vast majority do not), then you open to a random page and read a few, to make sure the author’s writing style gels. I get excited just thinking about it – there’s nothing better than finding a good gem among all the trashy fiction that pollutes the bookstore shelves.

Anyway, I’ve said too much. I’m treading much too close to the realm wherein I will induce boredom upon any hapless passerby.